The very metaphor of a hurricane on the outside like hurricane Maria on Saint Croix where I look on the outside at the destruction and know why I landed on this very island.
Because I am not the only one rebuilding from the hurricane of their lives and not only on the outside of scattered pieces after Covid came barreling through…
Love, Truth, Faith, God and yes even strength I never knew ran so deep by the conviction I will not go out of this lifetime on my knees.
I will return to wholeness because there’s nothing else to take away- and nothing and no one can ever take these pillars of my true strength away from me ever again. Because every time I forgot these pillars – there was pain – such great pain to bring me to my knees and punched in the gut that knocked the wind out of me.
So yes, we all rise from the hurricanes of our lives inside and out if we have the courage to face this truth that we are stronger than the winds that try to take us out, the winds of grief, of pain, of worry, of fear… and remember – that
WE ARE the wind!
Determined to be right at all costs is not love.
If there is any conditions attached to living your life from love then you are loving in your mind which is the ego and you will never receive what you really want in your own life coming from that space.
Putting love out from your heart what will make you feel good and it will come back to you.
If that is scary to do – remember pure love can never be wrong. And therefore there can be no fear.
If there if fear then you are living from your mind which has an attachment to an outcome.
On the wall
What am I reflecting ou
Is it the tears in my eyes?
The grief in my heart?
The pain in my soul?
For all to know?
“Yes”- replied the mirror…
”Because it is your truth inside, the truth you don’t ever need to hide.
Just don’t turn those tears, that grief, that pain into angry words at another. For underneath all – is the Love that is really in your eyes, in your heart, in your soul. “
Mirror Mirror on the wall-
Who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror… “The One who does not forget love heals the tears, the grief, the pain.
Be me- be the mirror of love and you will see what reflects back in your life.
– you and I are One. Share us with another. And don’t forget…
I Love You.”
We all deserve Love.
Many times I forgot ME is part of the WE.
And in those times- the pain came. And crushed me.
Until I gave myself permission to be a part of the WE LOVE, I knew I couldn’t win the war with pain otherwise because it started with ME – and turned the ‘M’ upside down- and came into the WE where I did not walk or love alone anymore.
I am a “Souldier” of Love. I am in the WE. All in.
I rest in peace – while I still breathing. By the mercy I have been given.
– Lori Freed
You and I are constantly asking what life is all about. Try to understand it. And then live like we know what it is and what we are misunderstood continually even when it comes to love. Many have never felt it and don’t know how to receive it. Yet, that is truly what Our life is all about. Love has no attachment to fear, anger, hate, and judgment. It is all PURE. If you hide it, you are hiding your true self. Not the self others told you who to be. There is nothing to hide and protect. If you come from love and live by that feeling now you understand why you are here. And with that knowing- you can now exhale in the peace you have always sought.
Did you forget you are worthy of being love? I did for a long long time. Because I forgot It is not wrong or selfish or vain to love myself too. Why was I thought to believe I could give love to others but I myself couldn’t give it? Aren’t I just as worthy as others? Yes. I AM, and so are you. Plant a seed of love for yourself too and let yourself bloom.
To say my heart is broken yet again is an understatement. The collective grief of surpassing 500,000 US souls lost to COVID-19 is beyond comprehension. When my mom suffered, gasping for breath in her battle and loss with CoVid on May 16, 2020 – there were approximately 60,000 souls who had passed – and 9 months later that number is over 8 times more of our loved ones gone.
More than ever this instills the truth within me we need a collective love to surpass the collective grief and help others get through and bloom again, better, higher, wiser, and with the very essence in which they thought they lost…
LOVE. The gardeners of TLG, plant your love in honor of Your lost beloveds because your love for them and they for you was never lost or died. It loves forward in helping others in its honor. Bloom Love On for these 500,000 beautiful loves and so many more.
We love you.
PLANTING MY ROSE
It is With a deep bow of love and gratitude for my stillborn son Elijah I am Godfrey that The Loving Garden was created. His journey into this world was not meant to be and his diagnosis of Trisomy 13, a genetic disorder that is not compatible with life was laid upon my heart 5 months into my pregnancy.
Against all advice, judgement and opinions from those who bore the label family and friends, I carried on and carried my child in my body and in my heart until God chose to take him home. I would not make any other choice offers but to carry my son Home. In the 4 months of this Truth- I wrote frantically hundreds of pages, I broke down more times that I can count, I mourned in silence, as a traveler – I continued on and I traveled through many states and showed Elijah the world from within, documenting our travels as my belly grew with every passing day, I read to him, talked for hours with him and sang and danced with him until my body frame could not hold the weight standing up. So I sang from the $40 lazy boy armchair I bought where I slept most nights with pillows tucked all around me. It was his chair, Elijah’s chair. That I still sit in today.Read more
in the still nights of silence, The Loving Garden bloomed in my heart, perhaps from a dream, and one morning I awoke and began to write about the garden, sketch the vision, flowchart and architect, writes its purpose and knew I was determined to trust this impending loss and grief had greater purpose. It had to!
I had to grow love forward from the growing love within me and give to those who need it as much as I needed it and it was withheld in a fractured childhood. But I held steadfast from a young age that love must exist beyond those walls. And said over and over, There is ‘more’. I knew it and sought it out in adulthood.
I worked fast to create The Loving Garden as I wanted it to be part of Elijah’s memorial announcement. While impending motherhood should be about planning baby showers and buying newborn outfits, mine was juggling and struggling to raise a 9 year old daughter as a single mother while planning a funeral for my son still in utero. I look back and perhaps focusing on this charity gave it all a bigger purpose as to why my son would die. As the days went by filled with documenting hundreds of hours of journaling and writing letters to Elijah and doing videos and non stop photos of ‘us’ together to fit in as many memories as I could knowing any day the memories would cease with his heart.
I loved to feel him move inside me, an elbow, a foot poking my humongous belly that put me in a wheelchair because he could not absorb the amniotic fluid. I did whatever needed to keep him with me just one more minute.
The grief moments were beyond any words I could share. I grieved my son while his heart beat inside me. Until one morning It didn’t. God took him Home on 11/20/2011 while I slept. 3 weeks before my due date.
Elijah came silently into this world on 11/21/2011. It was only me and God in the hospital room when Elijah was delivered for all who had been present and wiping my tears had stepped out when I asked for a moment alone before birthing him. And it was in that moment of silence and my eyes closed in prayer to help me ensure in this final moment, is when I delivered him. I was not alone. My loves above and God were with me and welcomed my child Home. (As I write this 9 years and 2 months later, I am crying. To share with the Gardeners here the Truth of the true depth of my love and my grief is a moment in time long waiting and a conviction of my faith and trust that the journey with my son had greater purpose beyond the pain and suffering. The tears now are a mixture of a heavy heart and a soul that smiles.)
On That day when I awoke to a heavy belly and a knowing in the depth of my soul that my son left this world, I knew one day I would bloom what he left behind, a LOVE so limitless, so deep and unconditional, and so massive in its purpose that it humbled me to my knees.
And through my journey with my baby son Elijah, I experienced what unconditional love really was and it took me on a journey through the years since, and thousands of written pages since, how to unconditionally love myself.
Every grief tear shed like raindrops or torrential downpours, I know channel for the greater good, the greater love, and these tears are what water the flowers of love to bloom in this very garden. Flowers of Love to share and give to others in need to know they too are loved and worthy of love and supported so they can love themselves too. And perhaps one day they will be the very ones to rise another up to bloom in love and plant their own seeds.
This Garden is limitless and eternal because Love is.
Thank You for Loving. You are Loved.
With Blooming Love,
Lori Freed, Founding Gardener
The Loving Garden
The Gates to the Loving Garden are now open!
St. Croix, USVI, Feb 14, 2021: The seed of a Love Legacy idea planted almost 10 years ago to help others, all in the name of love, finally comes to life. It’s time to uplift ourselves, our country, our world with Love! Following the turbulent and painful 2020, the vision to spread the powerful message of love is the beginning of a new hope and healing. What better than the day of love, Valentine's Day, to open the gates of http://www.thelovinggarden.com/ - a charity for all. Most recently TLG has added elements specific to the loss of loved ones from Covid-19.
Anyone who has lost a loved one(s) can plant a flower seed in the worldwide virtual garden to honor them, for any donation amount. Or just plant a flower seed of love at no cost in these challenging times and anchor love in their own lives. Donations to plant a flower seed of love will ‘bloom’ to help and support ‘Flowers of Love Recipients’ in the numerous sectors listed on the website.
Read more Ms. Freed calls this process the Cycle of Love where “Our Love Blooms On...”. She quotes the legendary music group U2 lyrics – “After the Flood all the Colors Came Out, It’s a Beautiful Day…” And that flood are called tears…let’s make something beautiful out of them. “I have walked, crawled and fallen many times on the road of deep, painful storylines all of us face at one time or another in our lifetimes.” says [Lori Freed], Founder, The Loving Garden Inc. who is an End of Life guide and hospice volunteer. “It’s time, more than ever to take the shattered heart feelings we have all felt and repair them and the fastest way to do that is to LOVE.” When my mother passed away from Covid-19, I used my tears of grief for a greater purpose and power and they help build The Loving Garden for all - in honor of Love. The very love we feel we lost now lives on, or ‘blooms on’ as I call it…”. The Loving Garden is a charitable website first and foremost, however it is also a portal of love with offerings extended to site visitors such as support resources, positive affirmations, your own personal garden page, community connection forums and much more blooming continuously. All portal of love offerings are free for anybody to use any time they need. Please visit http://www.thelovinggarden.com/ and honor those you love while helping others in need of love and assistance. Including yourself. Bloom Love On... ###
Ms. Freed calls this process the Cycle of Love where “Our Love Blooms On...”. She quotes the legendary music group U2 lyrics – “After the Flood all the Colors Came Out, It’s a Beautiful Day…” And that flood are called tears…let’s make something beautiful out of them.
“I have walked, crawled and fallen many times on the road of deep, painful storylines all of us face at one time or another in our lifetimes.” says [Lori Freed], Founder, The Loving Garden Inc. who is an End of Life guide and hospice volunteer. “It’s time, more than ever to take the shattered heart feelings we have all felt and repair them and the fastest way to do that is to LOVE.”
When my mother passed away from Covid-19, I used my tears of grief for a greater purpose and power and they help build The Loving Garden for all - in honor of Love. The very love we feel we lost now lives on, or ‘blooms on’ as I call it…”.
The Loving Garden is a charitable website first and foremost, however it is also a portal of love with offerings extended to site visitors such as support resources, positive affirmations, your own personal garden page, community connection forums and much more blooming continuously. All portal of love offerings are free for anybody to use any time they need.
Please visit http://www.thelovinggarden.com/ and honor those you love while helping others in need of love and assistance. Including yourself.
Bloom Love On... ###